Vocaloid Fun
by pinksylveongirl
Summary: Just a series of one shots with vocaloids. NOTE: most of these chapters are based off of memes... Enjoy! I'll try to put most of the vocaloids in this story so...
1. Vocaloids With Hats

**I got really bored... So how about we poke fun at some vocaloids...**

**Some of these are based off of stuff, so pay close attention! :3**

Oliver comes home to find Gakupo dead on the kitchen floor. He appeared to be brutally murdered. He called Yohioloid to the scene.

"Hio, there's a dead human in our house!"

"Oh, hey, how did he get here?"

"HIO, what did you do?!"

"Me? I didn't do this."

"Explain what happened, Hio."

"I've never seen this man before in my life."

"Why did you kill this person, Hio?"

"I do not kill people, that is, that is my least favorite thing to do."

"Tell me, Hio, exactly what you were doing before I got home."

"Well I was upstairs..."

"Yes..."

"I was in my room..."

"Okay..."

"Reading a book..."

"Go on..."

"Then this guy walked in," Yohioloid points to Gakupo's motionless body.

"Ok..."

"So I went up to him..."

"Alright..."

"And I stabbed him 37 times in the chest." He reported with a smile. Oliver was stunned.

"Hio... THAT _KILLS_ PEOPLE." Oliver screamed.

"Oh... Gee... I didn't know that..."

"How could you not know that?!"

"I'm in the wrong air. I SUCK."

"What happened to his hands?" He asked him, noticing that the deceased purple samurai's hands were cut off.

"What's that?"

"His HANDS... Why are they missing?"

"Well... I sort of cooked them up... And ate them." Yohioloid grinned.

"Hio..."

"What?!"

"Why on earth would you do that?!"

"I was hungry for hands! Give me a break!"

"Hio..."

"My stomach was making the rumblies-"

"Hio!"

"That only hands could satisfy."

"What is wrong with you, Hio?!

"Well, I kill people and I eat hands... That's... That's two things..."


	2. Yuuma-kun The Drunk Nyan Cat

"Hey, Yuuma!" Gakupo called his friend to the table where he and Kaito were sitting at. Sure enough, they saw him rush over to them.

"You called?" Yuuma asked, his fluorescent yellow eyes looking him up and down.

"Yes. Do you know what this is?" He asked him slyly, holding the bottle of sake up to his face. He nods and replies-

"Well, yeah, it's sake. I'm not stupid you know." He muttered, eyeing the floor.

"Well, me and Kaito here dare you to TRY it." He teased. His eyes widened and he shrugged. He grabbed the bottle from him, pulled off the lid, and drank it until there was not a drop left. Suddenly, his body went rigid. And he got a woozy smile on his face. Gakupo stared at the boy next to him, who looked just about as creeped out as he did. Suddenly, right in front of their eyes, Yuuma got up onto the tabletop and shouted-

"THIS ONE GOES OUT TO THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN DA CLUB! HI GUMI MEGPOID!"

Gumi was not in the club. He was clearly drunk. Suddenly a huge smile spread across his face, one so wide that it would've made Jeff the Killer jealous. He jumped off of the table and ran out of the door. The passing vocaloids and utauloids watched as the pink haired ninja ran down the street screaming the nyan cat song in his weird masculine voice. He bumped past Piko Utatane, who looked at him with the slightest hint of amusement. Len and Rin Kagamine watched him throw fruit from a nearby fruit stand. An orange hit SeeU in the face, making her fall onto the ground.

"NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!" he screamed, grabbing Miku's megaphone that she used for Love Is War. He proceeded to sing until he bumped into Gumi Megpoid.

"Yuuma-kun! What are you doing?" She asked until it finally hit her. There was only one way to calm him down. She walked up to him and gave him a hug. His face suddenly flushed red and stopped singing. Then he passed out onto the ground.

"Thank god I recorded that. Now it's time to upload it to YouTube!" Rook yelled.

Author's Note: Go onto YouTube and search up VY2 Nyan Cat. You won't regret it. :)


	3. Stupid Twins and Their DogPerson

**These are just pieces and parts of lines from Ruko Yokune Male and Ruko Yokune Female. **

**WARNING: MAY CONTAIN DERPINESS AND ROOK.**

**For anyone that might be confused... Ruko Yokune Male is her male voicebank, I like to imagine both of her voicebanks as two different people. It's fun to think of that instead of people questioning Ruko's gender all the time. :/**

Ruko Male whistles along to the bird in the bird cage in front of him.

"Wow, big brother, I didn't know you spoke bird!" Ruko Female said.

"No, that's Italian." He answered.

"Does anyone have any questions?" Rook asked after explaining how the marching band would perform. Only Ruko Male raises his hand.

"Is mayonnaise an instrument?" He asked.

"No, Ruko, mayonnaise is not an instrument." He groaned. Just as he was about to ask another question, he muttered, "Horseradish is not an instrument either." His hand quickly fell.

"Why won't you tell me what's inside your secret box?!" Ruko Female begged.

"Nice try, sis. You may be an open book, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner mechanisms of my mind are an enigma..."

*cue the footage of milk spilling onto a tablecloth*

It is a bachelor party. Ruko Male and Rook had been invited. Ruko decides to talk to the the lady next to the punch bowl. She had blonde hair pulled into a ponytail.

"Hey, lady, let me tell you that you are looking STUNNING tonight." He grinned. The girl turned around to face him.

"Dude... I'm a man." The person replied with disgust. Suddenly he saw that what he said was true. He was face to face with Len Kagamine.

"Uh... Sorry! I totally thought you were a girl!" Ruko Male replied with a nervous laugh. Then he completely bailed from the conversation.

**Now that I got that off of my chest, I'll type more soon!**

**Arigatou for reading! :3**


	4. The Four Vocaloid Crossdressers

**Okay, this is a weird one. But a funny one. Bear with me here. **

"You guys!" Kaito yelled. Len, Gakupo, and VY2's head popped up from the kitchen. They were all covered in what looked like strawberry milkshake.

"What?" Gakupo asked. He handed each of them a flyer for a fairy princess contest at the amusement park. "So... What about the girly contest?"

"I think it's a setup! Miku is going, and I'm concerned about her safety! What if it is run by a psycho or something?!" Kaito growled. Len and VY2 looked at each other and laughed.

"Oh, Kaito, you're letting that 1999 creepypasta get into your head." Len laughed. Gakupo nodded in agreement and VY2 trailed off.

"Rin and Luka are going!" He complained. Suddenly both Gakupo and Len's eyes grew wide. They cleaned up the mess and walked dutifully over to him as if they were going with him. But the pink haired boy stood covered in milkshake and his arms were folded to his chest.

"Why should I go?" He muttered.

"I heard Gumi was also going..." Kaito grinned.

"And Yuu-san loves Gumi." Len giggled. He flushed red and trudged out the door and got into the car. They all drove to the amusement park. They were about to enter until Yuzuki Yukari stopped them.

"Sorry, but only girls are allowed to enter." She informed them. They walked away. All hope seemed lost until Kaito got an idea.

The vocaloid boys came back, each disguised as a girl. VY2 had his slightly long pink hair in pigtails and he was wearing a pink hoopskirt dress. Len was disguised as Rin. It didn't take long for Gakupo to look like a woman (obviously with hair THAT long). Kaito was dressed like Meiko, and he was wearing a tank top and a skirt. Each used tennis balls to make up for their lack of cleavage. They headed towards the entrance with high hopes. Yukari looked at them with amusement and teased-

"You have to sing in order to prove that you're a girl..."

The boys huddled in a little circle.

"What do we do? None of us have girly sounding voices... Except for Len here..." Gakupo whispered.

"Hey!" Len growled in annoyance.

"Step back everyone. I've got it." VY2 assured them. They looked at him and laughed.

"Yuu-san, you have one of the manliest voices in our group. What makes you think you can gain us entry?" Kaito demanded. But VY2 bailed from the conversation and stood in front of Yukari and sang Rolling Girl in a very feminine voice. Gakupo, Len, and Kaito stood behind him, their mouths agape. As they ran to the place where they thought the girls could be, Kaito asked VY2, "So... What on earth was THAT?!"

"I was programmed with a falsetto voicebank." He grinned. They finally made it to where Miku, Luka, Rin, and Gumi were, and they were sitting in lounge chairs next to a pool. They stared at them, before Gakupo had the courage to ask-

"Wait... You guys aren't in trouble?"

"Heck no! We were sitting here the whole time." Miku giggled.

"Hey, Yuuma-kun, nice dress." Gumi giggled, making VY2 blush. They all walked out of the amusement park, the boys embarrassed and the girls making fun of their foolishness.


	5. My opinion on all of the vocaloids

**Ok, I'm going to write down what I think about all of the vocaloids (excluding the ones I don't know)**

Miku Hatsune: I don't HATE her, I just think she's a little overrated. She's got a cover of everything. O_O

Kaito Shion: he's alright.

Rin Kagamine: Those _pitches... _it burns my ears.

Len Kagamine: Len, you're a boy, act and sound like a BOY.

Gakupo Kamui: he's pretty cool. The first time I saw him, I though he was a woman (sorry Fangirls...)

Luka Megurine: she's ok.

Lily: she's awesome.

Yuki Kaai: she's adorable.

Oliver: like an English version of Len.

SeeU: I have an issue with SeeU. She's just... Unoriginal.

Mayu: sounds a lot like Yukari. Which weirds me out.

Galaco: one of my faves.

Gumi: she's the first one I've ever listened to, thus she's my fave.

VY1 Mizki: she's okay...

CUL: she's pretty cool.

Yohioloid: I like him.

Big Al: He weirds me out.

Neru Akita: she reminds me of my cousin. My cousin is a complete BRAT.

Haku Yowane: I like her voice.

VY2 Yuuma: *ahem* OMG HE'S SO HOT, HIS HAIR IS PINK, HE CARRIES AROUND A SWORD JUST LIKE LINK FROM THE LEGEND OF ZELDA AND HIS VOICE IS SEXY. *DIES*

Kiyoteru: Almost like a weird cross of Kaito and Len.

Piko: eh.

Miki: sounds like autotuned Miku. Heck her name is even SIMILAR to Miku.

IA: I don't like her all that much. I'm a VY2 x Gumi shipper, so it annoys me when people ship VY2 with IA. Just because they're both attractive that doesn't mean they're right for each other. That and... HER DESIGN. She looks like a stripper.

**And that was my honest opinion. Don't kill me please. O_e**


	6. Vocaloids With Hats 2

**I changed the characters. :)**

Gakupo Kamui and VY2 Yuuma are on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean.

"Gah, Yuuma! What was all that?!" Gakupo screamed.

"I'm not sure what you're referring to." He answered.

"You sunk an ENTIRE CRUISE SHIP, Yuuma!"

"Really? I think I'd remember doing something like that."

"You fired a harpoon into the captain's face!"

"That sounds dangerous."

"You were headbutting children off the side of the deck!"

"That must've been terrifying to watch."

"Then you started making out with the ice sculpture!"

"Well thank god the children weren't there to see it! Plus it looked like Megpoid Gumi."

Suddenly, Gakupo noticed that they were standing in something that was red and sticky.

"Um, Yuuma, why is the lifeboat all red and sticky?"

"Well, I guess it IS red and sticky."

"Yuuma, what are we standing in?"

"Would you believe it was strawberry milkshake?"

"No I wouldn't."

"Melted gumdrops?"

"NO."

"Boat nectar."

"No."

"Some of God's tears."

"Tell me the truth, Yuuma!"

"Fine. It's Piko and Miki from 2B."

"YUUMA!"

"They were taking all the crescent rolls."

"I can't believe what I am hearing."

"I will not apologize for art."

Gakupo suddenly realized that there were no other lifeboats in the area.

"Yuuma, where are the other lifeboats?"

"Wow, you win the prize. I didn't even notice that."

"Where are the other lifeboats, Yuuma?!"

"Judging by the projectile of the moon and the sun, probably at the bottom of the ocean. I cut lots of holes in them."

"Yuuma!"

"I have a problem. I have a serious problem."

"You are just... Terrible today."

"Shhh! You hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness!"

"That's the sound of people drowning, Yuuma."

"That is what forgiveness sounds like... Screaming then silence."

**This would look hilarious in MikuMikuDance. XD**


	7. Vocaloid Personalities and Such

**This is a list of what I think the vocaloids personalities would be like.**

**PINKSYLVEONGIRL**

Miku Hatsune: A perfectionist. Always wants things to be exactly how she wants them.

Luka Megurine: a motherly sort of figure. Likes to think of Miku as her little sister.

Kaito Shion: somewhat dimwitted. Loves ice cream more than life itself.

Gakupo Kamui: a little on the creepy side. A samurai that has a thing for Luka.

Gumi Megpoid: sweet and kind. Has a huge imagination. Can get flirty if around a cute guy.

Len Kagamine: quiet and reserved. Often covers for Rin when she does something stupid.

Rin Kagamine: stubborn and often mean. Enjoys running people over with her road roller. Rumor has it that she keeps a death note under her bed.

Miki: dimwitted. Likes Piko Utatane.

Yuzuki Yukari: shy and kind. Loves animals, particularly bunnies.

Mayu: the opposite of Yukari. Outgoing and sometimes mean. Carries around an ax and a bear. Dangerous when provoked.

SeeU: kind and gentle. Sometimes known to be a klutz.

Piko Utatane: quiet and friendly. Talks to himself a lot.

Kiyoteru Hiyama: a teacher. Friendly yet sometimes acts like a wuss.

Kaai Yuki: a small elementary schooler. Kind towards her friends.

Ryuto Gachapoid: bullied a lot. Friends with Kaai.

VY1 Mizki: a yandere. Known to get violent for stupid reasons.

VY2 Yuuma: quiet and naive. Doesn't associate much with other vocaloids. Has a huge crush on Megpoid Gumi.

Yohioloid: dimwitted and overprotective of Oliver.

Oliver: he's a baby.

CUL: tough and determined.

Lily: best friends with CUL. Hates to lose.

Aoki Lapis: extremely shy. Helpful and kind.

Neru Akita: mean. Has a crush on Len.

Haku Yowane: a huge downer. Drinks a lot.

Meiko: a drunk. Haku's friend.

... That's a all I can think of for now.


	8. Some randomness

**OMG. I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IS IN A WHILE. PLEASE ENJOY**

**SYLVIE-CHAN**

"Listen up, friends!" Kaito announced.

"OK!" Rook replied with a goofy smile.

"I have an important announcement!" He shouted. Every vocaloid and utauloid started to complain angrily.

"This better be about cats!" Piko Utatane called in the midst of the complaining.

"As you all know, I will be getting a V3 update soon!" Kaito cheered. He heard Kiyoteru on the far side of the room sobbing. "And one of my voicebanks will be-" the vocaloids and utauloids stared at each other awkwardly. "Wait for it..." Then Kaito started salsa dancing. "KAITO HOT SAAAAAAAAAUCE!" VY2 ran away from the argument.

"Kaito hot sauce? More like Kaito not sauce. Ha ah ha ha!" Ted Kasane laughed at his own joke. Then they saw saw a shirtless Gakupo on the other side of the room.

"Swiggity swag, what's in the bag?" He asked.

"NO!" VY2 screamed, kicking him in the face.

"OW! Pain..." Gakupo groaned, rolling around on the ground.

* * *

"We are not kids!" VY2 cried. Len pulled down his pants and pointed at his underwear.

"Yuuma, you have been wearing the same pokemon underpants for 6 years straight! WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT?!" He cried.

"Worship... GAH you're right Len, WE ARE KIDS!" VY2 started sobbing and waddled around with his pants still at his ankles. Then he fell on the ground.

"Pull your pants up, Yuuma. We're going home." Len replied bleakly.

"But you can't go home!" Gumi Megpoid cried, suddenly appearing in a carriage that was pulled by horses.

"Gumi?" Len asked, looking up at her.

"GUMI!?" Yuuma yelled, frantically trying to pull his pants up. He ended falling on his face. "Huh?"

"How much did you hear?" Len asked.

"I heard enough." She replied.

"Did you see my underwear?" The pink haired vocaloid asked.

"No, Yuuma." She answered.

"Did you want to?" He asked.


	9. SOME RANDOM MEMES THAT ARE FUNNEH

**Note this part may contain a very derpy VY2. You have been warned.**

"Aw cheer up, Gakupo! It could be worse!" Len told the purple samurai.

"Yeah! You could have purple hair and look like a woman!" VY2 agreed.

* * *

"Quick, Yuuma. Without thinking: if you could have anything right now, what would it be?" Len asked him.

"Uh... More time for thinking." VY2 replied.

* * *

"That's just a stupid boulder!" Gakupo yelled as Len ran up to hug a boulder while they were stranded in a desert.

"It's not just a boulder... It's a ROCK!" Len cried, tears in his eyes.

* * *

"We're not doing so well, Yuuma. We need a new approach, a new tactic..." Len pondered, sitting on the box of chocolate bars.

"I GOT IT! LET'S GET NAKED!" He yelled.

* * *

"Is Megurine Luka the one that I call 'Mom'?" VY2 asked Len.

"No, Yuuma, that's your mother." He replied.

* * *

"I'm going in!" VY2 shouted. He matched into the bar and stared at all of the bikers that were drinking beer and playing pool. He raised his arms and shouted, "CAN I HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION?!" All of the bikers turned to him with a glare. "I have to use the bathroom." He announced.

* * *

"Remember Yuuma, flatter the customer. Make him feel good." Len instructed him, leading him up to the door of a house. The door opens.

"Hello?" Kaito Shion asks.

"I love you." VY2 grinned. The door slams.

* * *

"Look at little Len Len, sleeping so soundly... WAKE UP LEN-KUN! LOOK IT'S A MONSTER! Don't be scared Len or he'll eat you. Monsters smell fear, lucky for you, I got a- SAFETY TORCH! PUT IT ON YOUR PORCH! SAFETY TORCH! PUT IT IN THE HALLWAY! SAFETY TORCH! SCARE THE MONSTETS AWAY! SAFETY TORCH! THAT'LL BE 50 BUCKS!"

* * *

"Aren't you, VY2 Yuuma?" Ted Kasane asked.

"Yep!" VY2 replied.

"And this is your ID?"

"YEP!"

"I found this ID in this wallet that you dropped. If that's the case, that makes this, _your wallet._"

"Sounds good to me." VY2 replied happily.

"Then take it." Ted growled.

"It's not my wallet." He complained. Suddenly he turned into a chimera.

"You take this wallet or I'll rip your arms off!" Ted screamed, then erupted in a fit of laughter due to the laughing belt Len had.

"Wrong! Good people don't rip each other's arms off!" Len cried.


	10. More Funny Things

**Omg, I'm so sorry I haven't been on in like a month... :( Before I begin more Vocaloid Hilarity, I'm going to list some things that bother me. Feel free to react in the comments... I need someone to talk to.**

**1. Stop making VY2 look like Edward from Twilight. HE IS NOT A VAMPIRE.**

**2. Stop hating Gachapoid. His voice is weird, but at least he's cute.**

**3. Someone should make some MMD videos of these... Almost like talkloids, that would be hilarious.**

**but who cares what I think? Enjoy!~**

"They told me that I can never teach Piko how to drive!" Kiyoteru announced.

"Maaahhhhhhh!" Piko yelled as he was behind the wheel of a car.

"NO PIKO, NOOOOOOO!" He screamed, but it was too late. Piko had already driven off a cliff.

* * *

Len had just came back from summer camp. He lugged his things into his house to see Yuuma perched on top of his coffee table.

"What do you usually do when I'm gone?" He asked with curiousity.

"Wait for you to come back." He replied gruffly, clutching his katana.

* * *

Gakupo, Yuuma, and Len were stuck at the bottom of Kaito's "wishing well".

"Do you have to stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic." Gakupo hissed.

"What does claustrophobic mean?" Yuuma asked.

"I think it means that he's afraid of Santa Claus." Len suggested.

"Ho, ho, ho..." the pink haired Vocaloid teased.

"Stop it, Yuuma! You're scaring him!" The shota cried.

* * *

**And now a quote from VY2 Yuuma:**

"Yamaha vocaloids are blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Yuuma drooled.

* * *

"I can't do this anymore, Rin!" Len cried. Rin stopped.

"Why?" She ask, running over to him.

"I... Am a man!" He cried, holding out a razor.

* * *

"Can I help you?" Kaito asked, walking over to Yuuma.

"I like _chocolate milk." _he murmured, giving him a sly grin.

"Yes, I caught that before." He grumbled.

"Can I have some chocolate milk?" He asked.

"What do I look like, your mother?!" He demanded.

"Can I have some chocolate milk?" He asked again.

"GUMI! THIS KID WANTS SOME CHOCOLATE MILK!" Kaito yelled.

* * *

"Gakupo! I know how to distract the millions of Gumi Appends!" Kaito announced.

"How?" He asked, hiding in an alleyway with him. They were being chased by all of Gumi's Appends. Kaito walked out of the alley and grabbed Yuuma, who happened to be walking nearby.

"HEY LADIES! LOOK IT'S YUUMA!" He screamed. Yuuma tried to run, but he was quickly tackled by a bunch of love struck Gumis.

* * *

"Okay, everyone, tomorrow morning, 10 a.m, Santa's coming to town!" Ted Kasane announced.

"SANTA! OH. MY. GAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWD!" Rook screamed.

* * *

"Brah brah brah brah brah." Miku announced.

"You were in the chat room right? The Black Page..." Pewdiepie said.

"Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah..." She replied sadly.

"I knew it! You are some sort of... Speaking disease. Maybe a brain tumor." He yelled.

* * *

"Help!" Luka cried, running out of the movie theater. She ran over to Gakupo and Meiko, who were supervising the theater.

"What happened?" Meiko asked.

"VY2 Yuuma has gone berserk!" She replied shakily.

"VY2 YUUMA?!" They cried.

"Well who else?" She cried.

"You invited Yuuma to theater on a Monday?!" Gakupo demanded.

"Monday's are his BAD DAYS..." Meiko murmured.

"Well no one told me that!" She cried. Right after she uttered that statement, Yuuma ran out of the theater holding what looked like two sneakers with bras tied around the laces.

"NYEH! COCK A DOODLE DOO, THE COW SAYS MOO! COCK A DOODLE DOO, THE COW SAYS MOO!" He screamed, swinging the objects around wildly. Gakupo got a determined look on his face as he approached the hyper vocaloid. "YOU STOLE MY UNAGI PIE!" He screamed once he saw him.

"Shhh... These letters of my love for you..." he sang quietly. The objects began to slow down and Yuuma's eyes grew wide.

"I've been writing them for... F-fifteen years... Straight..." He murmured quietly.

"And there still is no reply..." Gakupo sang soothingly.

"And there will never be a reply..." The sang in unison.

"I'm so sorry, man!" Yuuma cried, pulling Gakupo in for a tight hug. He was sobbing his eyes out.

"Its okay, buddy! Gacki's got you..." He murmured, hugging him back.


End file.
